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Trusting the Process: How Surrender Leads to Real Growth

by Coach Brandi Nik Kilbourne

Have you ever felt like you're doing all the right things, yet nothing seems to be moving? That uncomfortable in-between—when the effort has been made but the reward hasn't arrived—can feel like failure. But what if it's not failure? What if it's transformation in progress?

Surrendering to the process is not about giving up. It’s about giving in—to patience, to growth, to unseen alignment. Much like seeds planted in the soil, we often don’t see growth until roots have formed. Trust requires the humility to believe something is happening beneath the surface.


In a culture obsessed with instant gratification, we’ve forgotten the sacredness of slow progress. But true transformation doesn’t announce itself. It happens quietly, in the moments when you choose to show up even though you’re unsure. In the pause between breakdown and breakthrough.


Surrendering also teaches us how to separate identity from productivity. You are not your output. You are not your bank balance, your followers, or the number on a scale. You are a soul evolving through seasons. When you begin to understand that healing, success, and alignment are cyclical and not linear, you open yourself up to a deeper, richer kind of growth.

We often confuse discomfort with misalignment. But discomfort is not always a red flag—it can be a rite of passage. The gym makes you sore. Deep conversations stretch your heart. Growth almost always starts with a little tension. It’s the soul’s version of resistance training.


Here are 3 ways to build trust in your journey:

  1. Reframe Waiting as PreparationYou’re not being punished—you’re being prepared. Whether it’s in business, health, relationships, or healing, use the waiting season to gather strength and sharpen your vision. Sometimes the space between the seed and the sprout is the most critical. That's where your roots take hold.

  2. Celebrate Micro-WinsProgress isn’t always dramatic. Sometimes it looks like saying no to old habits or finally waking up early without an alarm. Acknowledge the evidence of your growth. Tracking small wins keeps you emotionally invested in your journey—and emotionally investment fuels consistency.

  3. Detach from the OutcomeSet your intention, do the work, and let go. The universe often responds not when you want something badly, but when you show you can hold it well. This level of trust creates energetic alignment, which often speeds up the very thing you were waiting on.


“I trust the journey I’m on.”


Let that be your mantra this week. Speak it over your doubts. Write it down every morning. And breathe into the becoming.


But What Does “Surrender” Actually Look Like?

Let’s get practical. You might be wondering—how do I surrender when I still have bills to pay, dreams to chase, and deadlines to meet? Surrender isn’t inaction. It’s intentional non-resistance. You still do the work—but without the anxiety of outcome obsession.


Here’s what surrender might look like in everyday life:

  • In relationships: Letting go of control and allowing people to meet you where they are—not where you want them to be.

  • In business: Launching the product, sending the pitch, showing up online—even if no one claps right away.

  • In health: Honoring your body with movement and rest, without punishing yourself for not seeing results overnight.


When we cling too tightly to a specific version of how life should unfold, we block better outcomes that were trying to reach us. Surrender creates room for the unexpected blessing.


Why You Must Learn to Trust Uncertainty

Let’s be honest—uncertainty is uncomfortable. But it’s also where possibility lives. Every time you’ve ever experienced growth, it began with a question, a leap, or a foggy step forward. Uncertainty is not the enemy—it’s the birthplace of creation.


When you lean into uncertainty, you develop:

  • Emotional resilience

  • Creative problem-solving

  • Faith-based action


You begin to trust that you’ll figure it out even if the path isn’t clear today.

Everything you’re asking for is already on the way. Your only job is to stay in position.

Staying in position means maintaining integrity, keeping your word to yourself, and continuing the work with a grounded spirit—even when it seems like no one is watching.


Real-Life Stories of Growth Through Surrender

I’ve coached people who were on the brink of giving up, just before their breakthrough happened. One of my clients was ready to quit her program because the scale hadn’t moved in two weeks. But when she shifted her focus to how she felt, her motivation returned. By week four, not only had the weight dropped, but her energy and confidence were unrecognizable.


Another client was launching a business and faced silence after her first few offers. She was discouraged and doubted whether she was cut out for entrepreneurship. But she kept showing up. Three weeks later, she landed her first 5 clients—two of whom found her post from weeks before.


Trust is a discipline. Surrender is a muscle.

And like any muscle, it gets stronger the more you use it.


Create Your Surrender Ritual

Want to deepen your journey of trust and surrender? Here are a few of my favorite tools that help me stay grounded, clear, and consistent—especially when things feel uncertain:

These links help support the blog at no extra cost to you. Thank you for being part of the journey.

Final Thoughts

You are not stuck—you’re being aligned. You are not failing—you’re being formed. Life isn’t withholding your blessings, it’s preparing the soil so they can thrive when they arrive.

So trust the journey. Even when the answers are slow. Even when the progress is invisible. Even when your faith is tested.

The person you are becoming is already worth it.


Affirmation: I trust the journey I’m on. I trust the version of me I’m becoming. I trust that what’s mine is already making its way to me.


Print this. Say it aloud. Write it daily.

Because you’re not lost—you’re just on the path.


 
 
 

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